Wedding Speech Etiquette

The famous wedding speech: the curse of the groom, best man and father of the bride (and also the guests if they are forced to sit through 20 minutes of bad jokes and boring anecdotes).

If you have been called upon to give a wedding speech, fear not: wedding speeches are fun, relaxed affairs that even the world’s worst public speaker can master with a few simple tips.

Best Audience

Always remember with a wedding speech that this is the best audience you are ever likely to get for a speech. They will be in the mood to laugh and get emotional, especially if they’ve already had a few drinks. Just keep them happy and your speech will be remembered fondly.

Here’s a brief guide to the main speeches for the groom, the father of the bride and the best man. Remember that all the speeches should be funny, relaxed, with a few jokes thrown in and a few more sincere moments as well. Never go over 10 minutes, but try to keep it to between five and seven minutes if possible.

The Father of the Bride’s Speech

The father of the bride’s speech is normally the first of the wedding speeches because, as far as tradition goes, he is paying for the wedding.

Firstly, make sure to welcome everyone, especially welcoming the groom’s parents into the family, and say how pleased you are that your daughter has found such a great groom. Thanks is usually expressed to the organisers, caterers and anyone involved in the day.

The speech is then usually focused mainly on the bride, and should include a bit of a joke and a story about the bride’s past, as long as it is not too embarrassing. Jokes can focus around married life, but it is usually also a sincere speech as the father gives his daughter away.

You should then finish by proposing a toast to the bride and groom, and then introducing the groom (unless you have a master of ceremonies to do it for you) for his speech.

The Groom’s Speech

The groom’s speech is the second of the wedding speeches, and he is responsible for thanking all those who have played a part in organising the wedding, especially those who have made a special effort. Traditionally you then thank the bride’s parents for granting you her hand in marriage, but it is now more common to simply congratulate them for raising such a wonderful daughter.

The speech should include some kind words about the bride, and a few stories about how you first met, as well as a few funny anecdotes from the last few months or years of the relationship. It is then the groom’s responsibility to propose a toast to the bridesmaids and to thank the best man for coming. A few words about the best man then follow, leading onto the introduction of the best man’s speech.

Best Man’s Speech

This is the last of the wedding speeches, and it is usually the funniest. It is also focused mainly on the groom. Start by responding on behalf of the bridesmaids, and also thank the groom for choosing you for such a distinguished role.

The speech should contain a lot of jokes and a few funny stories about the groom. A bit of gentle ribbing is good, but try not to go too far and spoil his day. A nice word about the bride always goes down well too.

It is the best man’s responsibility to read out the ‘telegrams’, which are usually cards these days, from people who couldn’t make it. You can then propose another toast to the bride and groom if you wish, but this is not customary.

Finish by wishing everyone an enjoyable meal or day, or direct them to the next activity which could be the cutting of the cake.

Do it Your Way

Wedding speeches involve a number of protocols, but remember that these can all be changed. Find out from the wedding couple what formula the speeches are to take, but they may simply tell you to do what you want. As long as you keep the speech short, funny and sincere you will be well thanked for it.

Photos courtesty of CKP Weddings and David Pullum

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